Auteur: Boys Club

The only downside to International Boys’ Day was that we didn’t celebrate this beautiful day with other boys. Maybe that’s something we should plan for next year. Anyway, my husband did the groceries (as usual), and the boys cleaned our garden furniture set and set the table. They prepared dinner, barbecued, made some fries, and a great salad full of veggies. They did all this with their dad, while I was mostly in the background.

We had a nice and deep conversation about Boys’ Day during dinner. International Boys’ Day isn’t about gifts. This day is about our boys enjoying their childhood and us, as caretakers, guiding them well into adulthood. Although it wasn’t planned, we also talked about how boys should treat girls and how men should treat women. Generally, women don’t possess the same physical strength as men, but that doesn’t mean they are less. Not at all; women possess other forms of strength. We need each other; diverse teams make the best teams. Let us all benefit from that.

So, we touched on the topic of how we should treat girls and women, and it’s something we can explore further in the coming years. Why? Because it’s an important lesson to talk about how we treat others. While it’s easier to talk with people who look like you, we want to teach our boys to respect (and love) everyone around them. While ‘love’ is a broad term, truly caring for someone involves understanding their needs. Knowing their needs requires communication. And, we can’t only communicate in a way that is less challenging for us.

After dinner and the long conversation, it was time for the game I made especially for them. Ha, talking about communication! Let me tell you something. I made this walkie-talkie game for them. One of the boys was out of sight and gave instructions to find the keys that were hidden in and around the house. The other one was searching and collecting the keys. (They also switched roles, by the way). With these keys, they could unravel a code that they needed to unlock the treasure. So, it was like a treasure hunt combined with an escape room.

They loved it; it was a blast. Their dad also helped them and joined the younger one. While they were busy with the game, I took the opportunity to do some housework. I couldn’t stop laughing because the boys missed some clues as the walkie-talkie seemed to eat some of their words. I could hear half-sentences that didn’t always make sense. You could also hear and see their frustration sometimes. “What are you saying?” Or… “what are you doing? Where are you looking now? Why are you so silent? Did you find something already?” Communication – clear communication – is key!

Eventually, they cracked the code. It was really fun. I didn’t do much on the day itself, but the game took some preparation. One of the treasures, for me the most important one, was a proverb. As parents, you want to pass down the values that are most important to you. This is the time. Boys’ Day made me realize something else too. I was about to print some decorations for Boys’ Day and then I stopped. I asked the boys if they’d like me to hang some decorations, flags I made in Canva. They both weren’t really excited; it didn’t matter to them at all. So, I didn’t do it. Communication might seem like extra work, but it will eventually save you time and effort if done properly.

Girls’ Day and Boys’ Day

To be honest, a few years ago I didn’t even know there was such a thing as International Boys’ Day. My boys started complaining: “Mom, there’s Women’s Day, Girls’ Day, but no Boys’ Day. How come?! That’s not fair!” I couldn’t really argue with them. Because girls have been catching up significantly, we’ve kind of forgotten about the boys. And that’s a shame. A real shame, actually. Both boys and girls deserve attention. Well, if there’s one thing I want and can pass on to my boys, it’s that everyone is equal. And that we all have the power to make a difference. “Maybe Boys’ Day doesn’t officially exist, but we can celebrate it every year and organize it ourselves.” No sooner said than done, but actually, I should have done more research back then, because it turned out Boys’ Day does exist! May 16th is celebrated as International Boys’ Day, and we’re joining in at home too. This tradition is still very much developing, but it’s started, and that was my doing, at least.

What’s the goal of International Boys’ Day?

I have my own vision and goals, but if you’re looking for something widely accepted, you should check out the UN or WHO. The aim of Boys’ Day is to let our boys know that they are important and that we see them. They are seen by us, and they are loved. We will do everything we can to ensure they can grow up as healthy boys, who in turn can become strong men. What do I mean by healthy? We can divide health into three pillars: physical, mental, and social. We want the boys to feel comfortable in their bodies, to feel energetic, and of course, not to be sick. If they are sick, we also want to support our boys in this process so they can get better. If they are terminally ill, for example, we want to be there for them with all our strength during this phase of their lives. Mentally, our boys will face challenges, and what we as parents can do is prepare them. What do you do when negative thoughts pop up in your head? What does that say about you as a person? Or what do you say to yourself? What boundaries are important so that you can stay strong and healthy? And you need to see those boundaries in the broadest sense of the word, because it’s essential in every area of our lives. And then we have the social aspect. What relationships do we enter into with others, and how do we nurture them? How can we feel connected to others? Actually, I like the WHO’s definition of health, one I learned during my Health Sciences studies and that has always stuck with me.

What do you do on International Boys’ Day?

Ideally, as a mother, I wouldn’t get involved in this day at all, but I can also be proud of my boys, and that’s why – for them – I’m happy to contribute to this day. If you can’t celebrate Boys’ Day on May 16th, just pick another day during the week or weekend. It’s not about the money you pour into such a day, but about the time you invest in it. It’s great if you have time for multiple activities in a day, but it’s already wonderful if you just acknowledge that you’re taking some time for Boys’ Day: to celebrate that the boys exist, that they are appreciated, and that they are loved. They can be tough, they can be sweet, they can laugh, they can cry, they can dance, they can play football, they can hug or ask for alone time. We are there for our boys.

Below you’ll find some activity ideas (remember: do things that the boys themselves enjoy doing and give them space to explore and learn):

• Take a moment to speak to the boys, affirm them, and encourage them. You can say this out loud and write it in a card or letter that you can read to them or that they can read aloud themselves.
• It’s a special day for the boys, so put up some streamers. You can even make streamers together. Maybe you have other decorations at home, use them!
• Go play soccer (football) today.
• Let the boys cook and set the table: there are definitely easy dishes they can make (possibly under supervision). They can make a vegetable or fruit salad and even do some grilling themselves. They can probably make dessert themselves too: muffins, cupcakes or just different cakes always go down well and are easy to make.
• Have the boys create a mood board of their dreams and wishes. What do they think they’re good at, what could they become later, and what is their ultimate dream? The boys can also mention the talents of others. Ultimately, they should give a presentation where they introduce themselves.
• Maybe the boys enjoy crafting, painting, or sculpting. Encourage the boys’ creativity. Also, pay attention to their musicality.
• Some boys enjoy board games like Monopoly, which is also a fun activity to do together.
• Let the boys build a small fire outside; it’s cozy in the evening, especially with some marshmallows.

‘So, Mom, why is there a Girls’ Day but not a Boys’ Day?’ ‘Well, girls around the world often seem to be one step behind, and we need to change that.’ I tried to explain because, as a feminist, I felt I had to. But my boys don’t really see it that way in their world. They see that girls are entitled to wear pink, and they are not. ‘Mom, can I wear pink?’ ‘Sure, son, you can wear any color you like. Colors were never made for a certain gender. The rainbow has all the colors you want and need, and it’s for you to choose your favorite. Let nobody limit you; the rainbow is a sign of hope that everyone can see.’ Okay, maybe I should have stopped at ‘everyone is free to choose their favorite color.’

It’s true that everything girls have often seems more attractive: the girls’ clothing section is more appealing than the boys’. Unisex clothes can be kind of boring. There are far more coloring books for girls than for boys. My boys don’t want girls’ clothes; they just want vibrant clothes designed for boys. Well, what can I say? I’ve always considered myself a feminist – men and women are equal but not the same, I guess. Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. I never thought that I would have two boys and that I would have to think about their rights. Boys’ rights. Men’s rights. I’ve noticed that International Men’s Day has gained recognition, but the same isn’t true for boys. So, I told my boys that they are free to have their own Boys’ Day. Pick a day on the calendar, babies. And they did.

Their dad, my husband, insisted that it would be a lovely moment for him with his boys. Well, I suddenly had some extra free time and decided to find out more. It turns out that May 16th is International Day of Boys. Of course, I’d Googled it before, but that day in August, I had more time to look into it. Surprisingly, there’s hardly any information about this day.

On this website, I hope to provide more information about this day. We want to maintain a balance between Girls’ Day and Boys’ Day because we want to celebrate this part of their identity.

Thanks so much in advance,
A mom in Europe with two young boys